Pink Floyd - 'P•U•L•S•E'

Pink Floyd are one of my favourite bands of all time. Some may say they are boring, or that their music may be pretentious and self-indulgent, but I vehemently argue that the Roger Waters-led line-up produced some of the best music to ever be recorded, packaged and released. 'Animals', 'Wish You Were Here' and 'The Dark Side of the Moon' are frequently mentioned on critics' 'best-of' lists, as is their conceptual rock opera 'The Wall'.

So imagine my disappointment after watching their performance video, 'P•U•L•S•E'.

The concert was taped at Earls Court in London on October 20th 1994, almost a decade after Waters' departure from the band, now led by David Gilmour. The band play the expected numbers such as 'Shine on You Crazy Diamond', 'Wish You Were Here', 'Another Brick in the Wall' during the two-and-a-half hour set, but it is not the music that is the problem here.


The band look as though they are going through the motions. They look akin to workers on a production line, simply turning knobs and pushing buttons until quittin' time. Of course, the musicianship is impressive and Gilmour's virtuosity is certainly showcased during the performance, though it's just not that interesting to watch. It's also painful to see the band play material from newer albums 'The Division Bell' and 'A Momentary Lapse of Reason' as the audience seem just as disinterested as the performers. The audience fail to get over this forty-five minute act even as the band jump into a full play-through of 'Dark Side', before closing the set with 'Comfortably Numb' and 'Run Like Hell'. There is clearly no connection established between the band and its fans.


Though the performance is lacklustre, the concert's visuals are unbelievable. Blinding lights and lasers shoot out from every inch of the stage, with spell-binding images and animations bursting from the backdrop. The stage itself completely steals the show here as I found myself baying for more wide distant shots, rather than close-ups on the band-members playing. The effects are compelling and extravagant, with the show climaxing with a huge mirror-covered disco ball descending above the audience and opening up like some kind of spaceship.


Though the visuals are amazing and, at times, awe-inspiring the band do little to compete for the audience's attention. It seems as though they could be replaced with a stereo system and half the crowd wouldn't even bat an eyelid, which does bring the performance down greatly. You could almost get the same effect playing the accompanying CD through Winamp with a maximised visualiser.


At least it might keep your interest for longer.

Midlife Crisis

I believe I am definitely having a midlife crisis.
Which is a shame seeing as though I'm only twenty-one.
Nevermind.

I still enjoy watching wrestling from 2001, playing GoldenEye and listening to the Pokémon theme song.

The Curse of Tony Soprano

Why is it that there is nothing decent on television as of late? Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration but my point still stands. I cannot think of one truly brilliant show that debuted recently. Apart from maybe 'Boardwalk Empire' with Steve Buscemi. However, I have only watched the Scorsese-directed ninety-minute pilot episode (which I found brilliant by the way) with the rest of the series collecting proverbial dust on my Sky+ hard drive. 

Most of the series I watch nowadays are programmes that first emerged at least four years ago. Fuck, 'Californication' is between its fourth and fifth seasons and that's something I only got into last year. '30 Rock' has just finished its fifth series for God's sake! Besides these two, the only 'newer' programme I seem to watch is the revived 'WWE Tough Enough' reality show, which originally broadcast in 2001. It's easy to see why the series originally failed as Al Snow does not really have the same audience draw as 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin.

'South Park' is two episodes into its fifteenth (!) season, though the second episode was mediocre and the first could have been a surreal disaster if I hadn't have watched 'The Human Centipede' prior to its airing.

Surely mainstream television has not fallen this far? I mean, the 'Interns' series of 'Scrubs' was nearly enough to make me throw my all-episode boxset in the bin but there must be something new and original out there? 

I believe the reason for this comes down to one factor. One thing has ruined the entirety of my television-viewing future. That catalyst is The motherfucking Sopranos.

Ever since the screen faded to black and that now-overplayed Journey track came to a halt mid-song, nothing has satisfied my need for more 'Sopranos'. It was just too fucking perfect. Literally too perfect, now everything else is just shitty in comparison.

So thank you David Chase. You truly created an amazing piece of work. It's just a shame that it will never be topped, or even matched. Think of a cheeseburger. Delicious in itself, but then add bacon. Heavenly. You can never go back to plain old cheeseburgers after this point. 

'The Sopranos' is to television what bacon is to burgers: mind-numbingly perfect. Just beware that bacon is a double-edged sword. A gift and a curse.

Shit, I'm too tired to think of a real metaphor.

Punk's Romeo & Juliet and some Spanish dudes with a shaky cam

This may very well be the last time I ever take film advice from my sister. Despite being a huge fan of the Sex Pistols and possessing some knowledge on the Sid Vicious/Nancy Spungen time in their career, I had never seen Alex Cox's biopic 'Sid & Nancy'. If only I could go back to that time again....

Alex Cox, famous for his 1984 cult classic 'Repo Man', directed the film which focusses on how Vicious, Sex Pistols' bassist played by Gary Oldman, meets Nancy Spungen, an American groupie portrayed by Chloe Webb. Oldman and Webb were unknown names back when the film was released in late 1986, ensuring that nothing would take away from the onscreen characters. Think of Reese Witherspoon in 'Walk the Line'. You are very aware that the woman singing with Cash is that idiot from 'Legally Blonde' and not his wife, June Carter, completely undermining Phoenix's brilliant portrayal of the Man in Black. But I digress...

'Sid & Nancy' starts off well with the opening scene depicting Spungen's death in a hotel bathroom. The death itself is not shown but we see Vicious escorted out of the building by policemen under suspicion of murder. Vicious is interrogated by a cigarette-sharing officer which starts the story off via flashback. 

The film falls apart soon after Andrew Schofield portraying John Lydon (then known as 'Johnny Rotten') makes his first appearance urging Vicious to spraypaint a dog which had been locked inside a Rolls Royce. Strangely, Lydon speaks with a Scouse accent despite hailing from London where the film takes place. Cox claims that Lydon himself encouraging Schofield to play the role this way though there is no official confirmation on a meeting ever happening.

Lydon is portrayed as a ginger-haired, beer-swilling buffoon rather than the witty lyricist of one of the most important band's in music history. Schofield does not look or sound like Lydon, nor does he give across the same energy as the frontman. Cox also implies that Lydon was jealous of Vicious and Spungen's relationship, despite having rejected her previously. Lydon wrote in his autobiography 'Rotten: No Irish, No Blacks, No Dogs' that he found the implication "particularly loathsome", lambasting the film as "someone else's fucking fantasy, some Oxford graduate who missed the punk era".


Oldman received praise for his portrayal of Vicious, which I believe is deserved. Vicious comes across as awkward, unsure and bewildered rather than the over-the-top, fighting, fucking junkie troublemaker image which he seems to have left behind.


Anyway, to cut this somewhat facade of a review short, I did not like the film. Nor did I like 'REC 2'. Well I did up until the threat went from being super-rabies to the souls of dead children or something.


Cheers for wasting my time Emily Whelan.